Saccharine Vampires
by PrinceVampy
Summary: Nobody really likes it, but hey, immortality is a way of life. Sollux is pretty used to it by now and doesn't see the big deal in it. The only problem now is that he's come across a hunter named Eridan Ampora, who he is starting to develop feelings for. Too bad he hunts vampires, which just so happens to be what Sollux is. But the relationship could work, right? It could be worse.
1. Chapter 1

Who would fucking know that being a vampire wasn't all that great? You. You would know. Why? Well, look at yourself. You're a 4'8" little vampire. Yes, a vampire. They're real. Unicorns, bigfoot, vampires, all those are real. Except for a few things, but only because you've never seen any of them yourself. Even though you're old, you still have yet to see some things.

You will never reveal your actual age, since well, for one it's not important since you're immortal; and two, it makes you seem like an old man, and you hate that. Especially since you were bitten at 17, stuck as a hormone-crazed teenager. It fucking sucked. What else sucked? Teenage emotions and feelings, the biggest pain in the ass being crushes.

Oh who were you kidding, this is full-out goddamn puppy love, romcom love, and your ass somehow got caught up in this bullshit. What was worse? The person you were head-over-heels with was a guy. You aren't even sure if he's gay. But, that's not the worst part. Your crush, your little love interest, was a hunter.

Not just any hunter, but a vampire hunter. Just your fucking luck. Of course you would have the biggest crush on a vampire hunter. The world seemed to have it out for you and you had no idea why. Maybe it was because you came from a wealthy family? Maybe it was because you were throwing the big middle finger at nature for being practically immortal.

You had no clue, but you hated it.

This crush had spiraled out of control fast. You met him on an online game (you can't remember which one now) a while ago, you two quickly started a rivalry. That rivarly started turning into jokingly teasing each other about crushes, becoming a bit nicer, and soon, well, you exchanged Skypes with him.

That was around the time your crush on him started, since he had sent you a selfie of himself. He was tall, broad shoulders, lean but bulky body, brown hair with a purple streak, and gorgeous eyes. You, on the other hand, were a short bottle-blond vampire with acne and huge hips. It was, well, awkward. He said you were cute when you sent your first selfie to him, but you still had your doubts.

Vampires weren't supposed to fall in love with mortals. It happened, albeit rarely because vampires rarely interacted with humans aside from feeding time, but it still happened. This just seemed like another way for the world to torture you, torment you with feelings you never wanted in the first place. They were driving you mad with primal instincts, and it bugged you. You were a solitary vampire, clans weren't something you wanted to make, especially with a vampire hunting mortal.

Yeah, honestly, you did miss your last clan you were in. They were a nice group, everyone snuggling together in a big pile on the soft, warm, king-sized bed. There were only ten or so of you, so it wasn't a tight fit. Sadly, everything was turned upside down when hunters gassed and slaughtered almost everyone. Luckily for you, you escaped and you could have sworn at least one or two others did, too. You hoped they did.

Since then, you've locked yourself away in your large house, all alone with your internet and luxuries. It didn't help with the emptiness you felt, but maybe that was why your crush hurt so much? Because vampires weren't solitary, they needed a clan and a closely knit family, both of which you no longer have. You're worried about starting one, and meeting other vampires is always annoying. Most of the time, you end up slaughtering them slowly, messily. Half the time they almost kill you before you run away and hide to nurse your wounds.

Ugh, you shouldn't be thinking about your crush, it brings everything down. So, you lay down on your king-sized bed in your master bedroom, staring up at the 50" flat-screen television as South Park plays. Fuck, you needed better distractions, since watching Kenny McCormick become an anime princess wasn't good enough. Fucking damn, you hoped this would have worked.

Sitting up, you yawn, feeling your elongated and pointed ears twitch in your soft hair. You should probably do something better with your time, like actually try and hunt for once. Not like a blood donor wasn't good enough, but you should probably sharpen your hunting skills since it's been a while. How long it has been, you have no clue, probably a few weeks.

You weren't the picture-perfect example of a modern vampire, per-say. Unless normally a modern vampire sat on his ass all day on the internet and squeaked loudly until his donor came, fed him, and then cuddled for an hour or more with the vampire. Then yes, you are the most normal modern vampire.

Sadly, you were a poor excuse for a vampire and you knew it. You rarely even went out to hunt anymore, instead you stayed inside all day, your internet keeping you as good as company as you could get as you waited for you donor to come twice or maybe three times a week for the feeding sessions you had with him. Then, he would snuggle with you for a little more than an hour before leaving. Sometimes he stayed longer, which was always nice, but it was rare when he did.

Face it, you were and are still lonely as fuck, so meeting someone online? Yeah, that was neat. It gave a meaning to your seemingly endless existence, so of course you would love it! Amidst your thinking, you didn't even notice you apparently went downstairs for some chips and went right back up into bed. Opening the bag, you started munching on them as South Park continued to play. It at least gave you something to do.

Checking your phone as you ate your Salt and Vinegar chips, you hum. Eridan was online, fuck. You were torn, half of you happy he was online and the other half dreading it. These feelings were so conflicting, so you quickly sent him a message, hoping that he saw it, yet wouldn't see it.

TA: hey, ED, can we talk quiick?


	2. Chapter 2

Fuck, he saw the message. You were happy and yet, you were pissed off, since both sides and emotions were equally as strong. Fuck crushes, and fuck feelings. Hard.

CA: yeah sure sol

CA: wwhats on your mind

TA: well, uh, remember the other niight when we were up late talkiing, and ii 2aiid 2ome thiing2?

CA: you gotta be more clear sol its impossible to tell wwhat youre sayin to me

TA: about my 2tupiid fuckiing feeliing2? whiile ii wa2 2hoviing cookiie2 iintwo my mouth and 2obbiing over them?

TA: well, not really 2obbiing, but you know what ii mean, riight?

CA: oh yeah right

CA: that

CA wwhat about it though

TA: well, ii really don't fuckiing know how to beat around the goddamn fuckiing bu2h 2o ii'll ju2t 2ay iit.

TA my cru2h ii2 you, ED. all tho2e thiing2 ii 2aiid were about you. there.

Oh no. He wasn't answering, and you didn't see the little message that said 'caligulasAquariums is typing' where it should be. Shit, you fucked up. You fucked up big time. Staring at your phone for a few more minutes, you put it on the other side of your large bed, shoving more food into your fanged mouth, shaking slightly. Fuck, this was bad, this was really, really bad. He couldn't know, he shouldn't know.

This wasn't the movies, this wasn't some shitty romance novel. The vampire hunter wasn't going to fall for the vampire, that was just make believe. You knew if Eridan ever found out, he'd slaughter you before you could even say 'don't'.

You were so caught up in your feelings and almost starting to have a panic attack when you looked at your phone, seeing a new message. Reluctantly, your clawed hand grabbed it, your sharp eyes reading over the words carefully, over and over again until you were sure that's what he typed.

CA: really

CA: are you jokin sol

CA: is this another one a your 'classic' pranks for me

CA: 'oh haha let me say i havve feelins for this guy haha such a great prank he wwill totally fall for this one'

CA: sol

CA: sol are you there

TA: yeah, ii'm here, and ha, yeah, iit'2 one of my prank2.

TA: almo2t gotcha.

CA: hah yeah

CA: fuckin hell man i thought you wwere serious for a second but nope i wwas right

CA: just you bein an ass again and tryin to pull one ovver on me

TA: yeah, ju2t a joke. could you beliieve iif ii actually had a cru2h on you?

TA: that'd be 2o weiird.

CA: youre not fuckin kiddin oh my fuck i wwouldnt knoww wwhat to do

CA: i mean youre a great guy but i dont think i could evver feel that wway about you

CA: evven if i tried

TA: oh

CA: wwhat do you mean 'oh' it wwas just a prank

CA: it wwas just a prank right

TA: yeah, ju2t a prank.

TA: ii'd never have actual feeliing2 liike that for your 2orry a22.

TA: hey... ED?

CA: yeah

TA: are you gay? ii ju2t, you know, thought ii'd a2k 2iince ii wa2 curiiou2. we are on thii2 2ort of topiic.

CA: is it the fuckin hair sol or wwas that really not a prank you wwere pullin there

TA: no, no iit wa2. ii'm ju2t curiiou2.

CA: if you must knoww yeah

CA: im gay

CA: wwhat about you

TA: eh, ii 2wiing both way2.

CA: not surprisin sol

TA: what? why?

CA: your thin wwith duality

CA: i swwear to god you take that bullshit too far sometimes

TA: ii can't help who ii'm attracted to, pii22-2taiin.

CA: i knoww but still sol its kinda fuckin freaky

TA: whatever.

TA: hey ED ii'm gonna go, ii have 2ome bull2hiit two take care of.

TA: talk wiith you later.

Shutting your phone off, you put it on your nightstand, feeling tears prick your eyes. Fuck, you knew it. You fucking knew it, why did you even ask? What were the odds of him liking you, even if he didn't know you were a vampire? Slim, yeah, and now it's clearly obvious. He 'couldn't like you even if he tried', and for you, that was heart-breaking. You knew you would most likely never be able to date him, you knew it, but to have that confirmed and by the fact that he just didn't and apparently would never have feelings for you sucked. It sucked big time and you wish you could just push it away.

You kept eating your chocolate chip cookies until they were gone. It took a few minutes, but you got up and threw the container away before just staring at it. Your thoughts were racing at a million miles an hour, not knowing what to do. You still can't believe he reacted in that way and that you had to play it off as some sort of weird joke.

Walking back to your bed, your legs feel like jelly and like you're about to collapse at any moment. You're so close to just falling on your ass and crying like some two year old who had his first ever ice cream taken away from him. 'Maybe you should tell him the truth' was a loud thought screaming inside your mind. 'Maybe you should tell him you really do like him and hope for the best. The worst he could say is no.' No, shit, you couldn't. You had just said it was a harmless joke.

Besides, didn't you just get your answer? He couldn't like you. He wouldn't like you. Shit.

Sitting down on your bed, you hiccuped, wiping the tears away. You shouldn't be crying, he was some fucking vampire hunting human. You'd outlive him soon enough, especially since vampire hunters never seemed to live very long. You hear your sparks fizzling out beside your ears and you do your best to calm down. No, fuck no, you are not electrocuting yourself like last time you were upset. Lately it has been harder and harder to control them, and it's driving you up a goddamn wall.


	3. Chapter 3

Not even remembering passing out, you wake up sprawled out on your bed, tear stains on your freckled cheeks as you sniffle. Great, your nose is still pretty damn stuffed. Your eyes felt puffy and dry, too. Fan-fucking-tastic. Sniffling your stuffed up little nose, you look up at the television, South Park still playing. How long has it even been since you passed out? You don't know and quite frankly, you don't care. Your thoughts still make you think about your dumbass teenage feelings and you just want to ignore them, ignore them until they fuck off for good. They won't, you know they won't, but you can hope. Even if it won't do any good.

Moping around in depression won't get you anywhere. If anything, you need some fresh air. Slipping on your shoes, clean hoodie and baggy jeans, you ruffle your hair before getting on your feet. Yawning, your tongue runs over your clunky, sharp fangs and the rest of your teeth before you rub your eyes.

Oh, right. You need your glasses. You can't believe you forgot about your glasses. They must have fallen off while you were passed out. Fuck, you're basically blind without your glasses, how could you not notice that they had fallen off of your face.

As soon as you made sure that your thick-rimmed glasses were on your face and you could see properly, you headed out of your huge, lavish bedroom and down the stairs. Running into the living room and then out the door, you made sure you had your keys with you as you started your late-night stroll. You're glad that it's still dark out since you passed out, you really needed some fresh air right now and you wouldn't have been very happy if it was light out. You can stand the sun because of your hybrid nature, but only for a couple of hours before you burn up and die. You thank the fact that you're a hybrid for that.

Walking always helped clear your mind. In all honesty, video games used to until you started getting way too pissed off at them, or pissed off at your teammates. There's a reason you don't use your Xbox anymore, and that's one big fat reason right there. Fuck multiplayer games, even though you personally love them.

Before you know it, you're right outside one of the little pizza place near downtown. It's not too far away from your large mansion-sized home, but it's far enough that you're shocked you're already here. Thinking fuck it, you decide to walk into the pizza place, figuring it couldn't hurt to warm up from the chilly air that's been nipping at your nose for the past who knows how long. You can't really remember how long it took you to get here, so you don't bother trying to think of it that much.

The warmth hit you like a fuzzy brick, making your pointed ears twitch and perk up from their previous spot, which was pinned to your skull and seemingly trying to bury themselves in your hair. Your cheeks and ears flushed as you walked over to the counter where one places their order. The cashier looked at you oddly as you gave them your order. "One medium cheethe pithza, ekthra thauthe." You wish you knew why, because you always assume it is either because of your lisp, fangs, ears, or both. Maybe even your odd eyes, or your height. It could be all of them or not any. Wait, why did you care?

"The order will be ready in 30 to 40 minutes, sir. That'll be $8.99." Rolling your eyes at the crazy price of a medium-sized pizza (not even large or family size, jeez), you give the cashier nine dollars. Just as you expected, you get your one penny back in change and decide to go pick a booth. Why a booth? Fuck tables is why, who wants a table with chairs when there were nice, comfy boothes ready and avaliable to sit your butt down in. Whoever chose a table with you would most likely make it on your shit list.

Finding a nice corner booth near a couple large, single-pane windows, you walk slowly until you get to your chosen destination. The seat was nice and warm, just like the air in this dimly lit place, it also smelt like false italian food, but that was a pretty good scent in your opinion. It was strong, but you couldn't care less.

Sooner or later you find yourself staring out the window, just looking at the people walking by, some cars, some bikes, sometimes an animal or two. It was... peaceful. Yeah, peaceful was the word. Calming too, maybe. Letting out a puff of air, you cross your arms on the table and bury your chin into them, smiling ever so slightly at the view outside of the large window beside you. Humans lived such simple, short lives. It was cute. Even watching them walk around like this made you chuckle to yourself.

Soon you are yawning; your thick legs spread themselves under the table, trying your best to relax as much as possible without falling asleep. It was pretty damn hard concerning how completely and utterly exhausted you are, mentally and physically, but you do happen to have pizza being made for you, so you try your best.

Your best isn't enough.


	4. Chapter 4

The pizza was pretty good, you'd have to say. It sucked you had passed out, though, since the girl at the counter found out it was you and then had to wake you up by shaking you violently. You had almost ripped her head off her shoulders, poor thing. It was a horrible, horrible idea to wake a sleeping vampire, so you gave her a tip for her troubles. Especially since she appeared to have almost pissed herself when she finally woke you. Even when you apologized, she continued to avoid being within a couple meters of you throughout the whole entire time you were there.

Shimmering down to light your path home, the moon was large and full tonight. It made you smile a bit to yourself. Full moons, while nice and could easily illuminate your path without you having to kick in your sharper vision, would of course make hunting harder and werewolves always seemed to cause some sort of ruckus. Although most were vegan or vegetarian these days due to how it affected their bodies, making them a lot less violent than their ancestors (which you still distinctly remember). You sort of wish there was something like that for vampires, but sadly, there isn't one or it just hasn't been discovered yet. While you weren't too violent, you could very well be put into a bloodthirsty rage. It was embarrassing and almost always required a messy cleanup.

With the breeze ruffling your hair and the warmth of a full stomach, you look over the mostly empty streets with fondness. You knew Eridan lived around here, somewhere. At least in this general area. Sometimes you like to think about stopping by for a visit, surprising him with the fact his internet friend lives in the same town as he does, even though your large home is pretty far away and deep in the woods to provide protection. If he wasn't a vampire hunter, you'd do it. But, he is, so you have to think of your safety first.

Blowing a puff of air out your lips, you decide to turn around and head home. At least, that was your plan before you heard a gun click near your long, pointed and pierced right ear. Dammit. You should have fucking known better than to- "Well, well, what is this? The little parasite left its family to try and build a new colony?" Fuck. You're not in the fucking mood. Not now, you're tired and full and want to nap, not deal with him.

"The fuck do you want, shitbag?" You spit, sneering and pulling your thick lips up to reveal your sharp fangs. You knew this only worked with other vampires or other creatures as an intimidation tactic, not hunters, but fuck if you weren't giving it a shot. "Where'th the retht of your little thtreet gang? Too buthy fighting off flieth?"

The gun is jammed into the back of your head in irritation. "Shut your mouth, bloodsucker. You know very well I like doin' most a my dirty work alone."

It takes a lot to hold back that smirk, but you end up smirking and snickering under your breath anyways, even if you can tell he knows because he elbows your back softly. "Your hand ith your lowly helper? And I can't believe I'm letting you touch me after you probably didn't even wash yourthelf-"

"Can it." Eridan snapped at you, deep, bright ocean eyes narrowing down at you. Even though he was at least a foot or more taller than you, you still didn't find him that intimidating. It was almost funny how he tried to look intimidating, then again, he must think the same of you.

Tossing your head so your bangs shifted and would be out of your eyes, you craned your neck so you could look him straight in the eyes. "Why should I?" A soft purr rumbled in your throat as you puckered your lips in thought. He seemed a tad ticked at that. "Not like you can make me." It was a challenge, and you bared your fangs nicely just for him.

One brow arched up and you could see the disgust and utter confusion on Eridan's face. "I can just end your pitiful life right now, vamp." A pause. "You have three seconds."

On the count of three, you blinked. On the count of two, you braced yourself. On the count of one, you cringed, hearing the trigger get pulled. Nothing. Your ears twitch up and swivel as you open your bright, barely glowing eyes slowly. He looked panicked as he took the gun away from your head, checking to see if it is loaded, even though the gun shot a blank. He looked confused and horrified as you smirked up at him with the most smug look possible on your face.

"A little problem there, buddy?" The smug air was oozing out of you and dripping off your tongue.

Turning around and hunched over his gun, Eridan glared down at your chubby form. "Shut the fuck up, I may have accidentally grabbed the wrong gun. It happens to everyone."

"Yeah, but they don't usually live very long." You smirked, cocking a curvy hip up and watching with amusement as he fumbled with his empty gun. "Theriouthly, I don't even know why I'm jutht watching you inthtead of killing you, maybe it'th becauthe watching little rat-th thcurry around amutheth me."

Eridan grinned just so behind the shadows cast upon him. "You an' I both know you're ogglin' me, Sol." Your cheeks and the tips of your pointed ears turned pink. "No use tryin' to hide what's so fuckin' obvious. I'm sure even the dead can tell, oh, wait."

"Thtop the bullshit, Ampora. You know I thaid I wath joking!" Oh shit.

It took a couple minutes until he rounded back on top of you, studying your blushing features as you hissed in defense, scared of him getting too close. "What did you just say?"

You weren't sure how red and heated your face could get, but you bet he was going to try and make it spit flames. "I thaid nothing!" Oh he wasn't stupid, you knew it. You also knew you sounded much too defense for your liking. He grinned.

"So you're the one who I've been talking to online? The little strawberry blond in the pictures? Oh my god, who ever knew you could look like such a twink yo-"

"I THAID shut up!" Claws raked down his cheek, blood dripping down his pale face as he stared at you in disbelief. The smell made your stomach growl and churn on instinct, your pupils sharpening to a point in your multicolored gaze. "Don't fucking talk. It'th rude."

He didn't even look phased. "Oh? So the big bad scary vampire is actually a little midget twink who hangs around the house all day, stuffin' his face full a' chips and dip an' enjoys snugglin' and cuddlin' with too many blankets to count?"

And yet, you thought your face couldn't get any redder. Goddammit.

"You lied about living in another country? You're so tiny and delicate, and your little pajamas don't seem so fitting for a three hundred year old bloodthirsty monster." The air to Eridan's tone had changed to a giddy, teasing one and oh were you hating it.

Smacking his hands away from going to probably pinch your cheeks or ruffle your hair, you snarled, loud and deep in your throat. "I thaid don't thpeak, fuckin' rude. And for one I never even wanted you to-"

"Never knew your hair was that cute color in better lightin', Sol. It looks so fake and bleached up normally. Well, this normal." Sparks crackled from your eyes as he continued to drone on, right before he started running a warm hand up you neck from the base.

Eridan seemed to be enjoying making you flush and stutter like an idiot. Especially with how he caressed your neck like that. "Aw, you purrin'? How precious." He cooed as he toyed with your sensitive neck, reducing you to little chirps, purrs and stutters, eyes half lidded and hazed over. "Oh, didn't you say somethin' about your neck bein' sensitive, Sol?" The hunter sounded clueless and oblivious, but you knew fully well he knew what he was doing. "That if you did something just so... it would reduce you to putty?"

He wouldn't. "Don't you f-fuckin' dare, Ampora. I thwear to go- OH GOD." Your voice cracked and you collapsed on to him as he pinched your sensitive neck scars, your whimpers loud and body weak yet heavy. He caught you, laughing as his chest heaved. Your body felt amazing as he pet your neck softly after what he did, making you purr just a touch louder.

Grinning down at you although you couldn't see it, he smiled. "Never thought I'd get one a' the most powerful psionic vampires in history down on his knees like a little lap cat, purrin' and cooin' for attention like some sort of house pet."

Quickly getting back to your senses, you feel your psionics crackling around your eyes as you try and pull yourself shakily to your feet. "I thaid thtop! And thtop talking!" You snarled, psionics making the hairs at the back of your neck stick up. "Fuck off!" All you can see now are red and blue sparks clouding your vision, ears pinned back and your fangs bared.


End file.
